December pp, Dec 21

It was cold today, we had an ice storm last night and early this morning…

And I spent the day in the company of…smelly horses…

At the “Fun Meet”. I’m sure they didn’t mean the moms were having fun. Hey there Joker. You were a good girl today.

I hang out at the farm so Joker and the girl can do this all day.

But it was cold…

When I quit complaining about the cold is when I can sport one of these on my van…

2008 Family Christmas Letter

Okay, so where do I start? Well, maybe “Hello” and “Merry Christmas” would be a good start, huh? Yes, we’re deep into the Christmas season since Christmas is this week and I’m just now writing the annual Christmas letter. So I’m a little late, take me to court! Inside joke.

I don’t remember much about the first half of 2008. There’s no record or archives, so it must not have happened. To me, the time just “flew”, airline humor.

I do remember June. Father’s Day is in June. I remember that ’cause the wonderful, gorgeous, wife bought me, drum roll please,….A BOAT! Finally! Yes, she is fantastic! And for all you other ladies out there, she really raised the bar for you next year. The boat is awesome and we had a great time pulling the kids and their friends and fishing on the river and out in the bay.

So, we’re into summer…the wife’s birthday is in the summer and I reciprocated by giving her a camera. Whoa, baby, talk about changes around here! She loved it. She started snapping pictures of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, to the point of getting in trouble, sometimes big trouble. The kids think their mother is some law breaking, trespassing, pushing the limit risk-taker. So, this creative deformity in her just exploded and she started blogging! Now she’s sharing with the world what our family always knew, she’s got this crazy sarcastic sense of humor. Did I tell you things changed around here? Well, they did. She started documenting everything we do around the house – everything. It’s like our family Wikipedia.

So, anyway, the kids are doing great. (The boy) is playing the guitar and loves NASCAR, (the girl) is riding and jumping horses, and the pets are sleeping. We went to New Orleans (that was before the camera so that didn’t happen). Then we went to Cleveland. You can just read EVERY post that she has written by clicking on the “Previous Entries” at the bottom of each page until you get to the very beginning when are lives were not totally exposed on the world wide web. So enjoy.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone out there. May God bless each and every one of you. And a special shout out goes out to you guys and gals out there who are serving in the military. We know who you are, what you do and the sacrifices involved. Come home safe.

And bookmark this, so you can keep up with us…and leave comments, she loves comments.

TJ, (aka “the husband“)

December PP, Dec 19

Why hello handsome, take me to lunch?

And shopping?

The husband takes me Christmas shopping and as we were wandering around, we came across one of my very very very favorite stores, Anthropologie. I didn’t even know it was there!

For those of you who know me well, know I have a weakness, or perhaps a fetish for plates, china, and pottery. It’s bad…sometimes I can’t control myself. I have – ahem – a lot of plates.  I hope to find this little plate under my tree.

I snap two pictures when the saleslady comes over and says, “Sorry no pictures.” I said, “But it’s so pretty!”

Well here we go again. What is it with people and cameras? I’m just taking pictures of plates, of all things.

We had lunch at PF Chang’s.

It’s a picture of the horse’s butt…well now…

Hey you! Why you takin’ a picture of my butt (point of buttocks in equestrian terms)?

At least he had a legitimate complaint.

December pp, Dec 18

We are on serious baby watch. Saw Miss Dana again last night.

There’s a lot of talk about how uncomfortable she is but I thought she looked beautiful, glowing, radiant.

Especially with two babies poking your pancreas, liver, diaphram and everything else.

Induction is scheduled for next week. Ahhhh, that’s why she’s smiling.

Culture Shock

The husband was in the Air Force for 23 years. Of the 23 years that husband was in the Air Force, he spent a total of 8 (eight) in the US of A. Eight out of twenty three years (Hawaii doesn’t count as the continental US).

We did come back occasionally, for family visits etc. And we did come back home to get married. But we lived overseas, somewhere else.

Every time we came home to visit, we were always astounded by the abundance – of everything. Food, clothes, tv shows, everything. Things that people who live elsewhere just do not have the ability to have.

Once we went into Wegman’s Supermarket and almost passed out. We spend a half an hour at the bread section trying to pick out toast. We were literally overwhelmed. Every time.

Our very first American meal in the U.S. after seven and a half years straight of living abroad, was at the Cracker Barrel.

We were gorging ourselves on baked apples and biscuits and gravy when we realized one very strange thing…we understood the conversation going on around us.

We can hear the people at the next table talking and it took a while…but we realized they were speaking English. It was something so new that we actually stopped, forks in mid-air and looked around. In wonder.

We are so proud of our country and living overseas just reinforced it. We threw ourselves into those cultures, took language classes, ate the food (gladly), visited every nook and cranny, and made friends.

But the United States is special.

She’s also filled with the most compassionate people on earth.

December PP, Dec 17

I’m sure when I die, my tombstone will read, “She was a DPP failure.”

I wasn’t feeling well on Sunday, so I watched football all day. All day. The kids were hungry but mamma was on strike. Dad has to cook. Oh right, I cooked, never mind.

I did take a picture of Baby. He’s so pretty, dude looks like a lady doesn’t he?

I still wasn’t feeling well on Monday either and I didn’t take a picture…didn’t even lift the camera. Strike continues.

Here’s a couple of my Tuesday…Coming home from work…why did the girl take a picture of me coming through the door? Because it’s my faux birthday…

It’s not really my birthday, it’s my faux birthday. Too long a story right now…I did get presents though, it was nice of my real family.

Then it’s off of to youth group where we played silly games…

then I ducked out to the boy’s chorus concert.

There’s the boy, the bongo player on the right…he’s a cutie.

I guess the strike is over whether I like it or not.

So that brings me to today…yes today…

Today I spent the morning in court. And boy, did I want to bring my camera. For you see, I wanted to document our justice system, our Constitutional rights of self-defense and justice for all. Just like Superman says.

I was defending myself against a crime I did not commit. I know the jails are full of innocent people but really, I truly did not do anything wrong. But still I had a court date and I had to show up because I was SUMMONED. God did not summon me, no, the PEOPLE’S DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF MARYLAND did.

I was ticketed for driving with expired tags back in August. So you say, just pay the fine. Well, I would, except that my tags WERE NOT EXPIRED. The officer didn’t see my temporary tags before he wrote me the ticket and he can’t rip up the ticket after he writes it. What? Seriously now. I now have a ticket for something I didn’t do wrong and I STILL HAVE TO GO COURT. Or pay the $60 ticket. Well, I’m a lady so all I said was bleeeeep, bleeep, bleeep. And I’m not going to pay the bleeeeping ticket.

So the husband goes into lawyer mode and compiles a packet for my defense. Exhibit 1, the ticket. Exhibit 2, the credit receipt to the STATE OF MARYLAND renewing my tags (2 days before I got the ticket). Exhibit 3, the temporary tags which I had displayed in my van window which the dumb and blind officer does not see before writing the ticket. (”There’s nothing I can do now, ma’am, you’ll have to go to court.”)

While in court today, the husband tells me to plead innocent. Now…I have seen enough Law and Order to know what to do, don’t worry.

The judge asks me today, “Were you driving with expired tags?”.

I say, “No Your Honor.”

The judge raises an eyebrow and says, “No?”

I was waiting for him to ask the question, “Then what are you doing here?” because I wanted to tell him, “Because I was summoned in the middle of the day, taking time from work, a hard working, law-abiding citizen, to this kangaroo court, to defend myself against a stupid cop who needed glasses.”

I’m so glad he didn’t ask that question.

Instead he said, “What’s your proof?” and I handed over my pile of research material.

He says, “Where did you put your temporary tags?”

I said “On my back window, duh.” Actually I didn’t say “duh”.

He asks the cop, “Do you remember this episode?” to which the cop says, “Yes sir, I didn’t see her temporary tags because of her tinted windows.”

The judge then says the words, “You’re innocent, take a seat in the front row.”

That’s it – no apology, no – “I’m sorry ma’am for inconveniencing you, I’m now going to go out and catch some real criminals. Sorry for taking up your valuable time. I will never again stop an innocent citizen of this great country whose tax dollars pay for my salary.”

Not that I was asking for an apology. My friend Danny asked me to blog about this when I got the ticket but I was too mad to do so. I’m so glad I’m over it, can you tell?

Miller, Jones, Smith

I literally have lived all over the world.

But when we “settled” like the pioneers of old, in our covered wagons…and our cattle and our bedpans…not really.

We settled in a non-descript neighborhood with nice middle American homes. And nice middle American families. And nice middle American pets. A town with street and community names like “Smithville” and “Jones Road” and “Miller’s Avenue”. So vanilla, so blah, so temporary for us. Because the first chance I got, I was going to move away. Or so I thought.

Neighbor Sue asked me to take pictures for the phone directory. I know it’s not the biggest photography job I’ve ever gotten, wait…it’s the only photography gig I’ve gotten. No money exchanged hands either so technically, it’s not a gig. Never mind.

So the dog and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and we looked for something interesting to snap. At first I had a hard time…I didn’t know how I could capture the essence, the soul of the neighborhood. Sometimes I think too much…

I came away with a totally new appreciation of where I live. It’s not exotic, but it’s real, ya know? The people are so wonderful here, we just have to take the time to talk to and get to know them. It’s a risk sometimes, you have to open yourself up and they could be weird, like Neighbor Leigh. It’s really what makes a neighborhood a neighborhood. That and being able to borrow sugar or whatever else at the last minute. I’ve been guilty of that, because you know once you lend someone sugar, you never really get it back.

Don't Eat Me!

Once upon a time a little old woman and a little old man lived in a cottage. One day the little old woman made a gingerbread man. She gave him currants for eyes and cherries for buttons. She put him in the oven to bake.

I’m not sure if she put a bathing suit top and lipstick on him or not.

This display was at the mall in Binghamton NY. The theme was, obviously, how creative can you be with a cut-out gingerbread man.

It’s opposite day. This is called “Man as Gingerbread”. Really creative.

This one was done by a famous B.C cartoonist Johnny Hart’s son or grandson, I can’t remember. Johnny Hart died while working at his storyboard…a romantic way to die, if one can die romantically. Wait, Tony in West Side Story died romantically, in the arms of Maria…sigh.

I love this one. It’s my favorite. It’s called “Jimmy Ginger” and it’s an ode to the fine art of photography. Gingerbread man is photographed at various places, doing various things and collaged onto himself. Cool. I love the pink tongue.

It’s nice to see creativity at it’s best without making mockery of or demeaning the Christmas holiday. ‘Tis the season for bashing Christianity it seems…too bad. We could use a little more civility and tolerance in this season, yes?

Love Wins ~ A Giveaway From The Heart

I love this season. It is when our hearts really become open to giving and therefore receiving the greatest gift of all, love.

My friend Danny is giving away a photography package…the gift in his own words…read on…

I am joining with photographers worldwide in the “Giving is Awesome” call to action to help make a difference for one deserving individual or family this holiday season.

You know someone. You know someone who’s experienced a tragedy, is struggling to stay afloat, is raising kids while holding down more than one job, or is volunteering selflessly despite extenuating personal circumstances. You know someone who can’t afford custom photography, but who would cherish it this holiday season. You know someone who deserves a year-round reminder of their family’s spirit, love, and beauty.

You know someone. I guarantee it.

I want to know who they are, and I want to give them the chance to experience complimentary custom photography — $500 worth, to be exact. Whether it’s canvas or albums, prints for Grandma, or a slideshow to watch over and over, it’s in your power to give them the artwork they deserve this holiday season.

Oh, and the best part? The person who nominates the winner receives a $250 print credit. What better reason to show some love could there possibly be, people?

The rules:

* You cannot nominate yourself, and the person nominated must sincerely be incapable of purchasing my services. (Being unable to make mortgage payments for a two-million-dollar-vacation-home in Paris does not qualify as sincere financial need.)

* The nominee must reside in the southern Maryland area (Calvert, Charles, St. Mary’s, and Prince George’s counties). Tell me who you know, what they’re experiencing, and why they deserve my artwork. Please include a way to contact both your nominee and yourself as well.

* You must e-mail me the full story : danny@studiodouglas.com

The winner will be announced on Christmas Eve (or shortly after that) — get nominating! I can’t wait to read all of your entries!

Open your heart to someone this holiday season — and thanks for giving me the opportunity to open mine.

Love wins,

Danny

Dec Photo Project, Dec 12 on Dec 13

I really pride myself on those titles that don’t make much sense.

I don’t know why but Fridays are H-e-double hockey sticks around here.

Perhaps it’s because I save up things during to the week to do “later” when I have time. Then “later” rolls around and I have a pile of things I should have done “now” all piled up for the end of the week.

So for the purposes of this photo project (which I’m doing because I don’t have anything else to do), here are the pictures I took yesterday but didn’t have time to post because I was doing things that I had saved for “later”.

And so it goes…

While at the gym yesterday, I saw Trainer James who is our resident eye candy. He also has forgotten more kinesiology theory than I ever knew.

So Gym Rat Karen and I were hanging out at the smoothie bar and talking about Trainer James’ abs when I realized that, except for the husband’s dreamy blues, she has the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. She just got done taking my step class and I was a bag of ugly sweat while she looked like she just did her hair.

Here she is up close, it doesn’t look like she just worked out…but she did.

Then I came home and did some work…I tried to cram 4 hours of work into 15 minutes…doesn’t work…just adds to frustration…

Because I was going to see the sister that afternoon who lives way over in Virginia…Anytime you have to cross the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, it’s waaaaaay over there.

While I was there, I noticed her hands…they were beautifully manicured. My hands looked like I was hauling a load of horse dung around…which was not far from the truth by the way. It’s so ironical (the girl’s slang, it’s not a typo) that her hands looks this way. She can’t use them. She can’t move them, she can’t even brush the hair away from her face.

While I was there a nice pastor shows up and starts trying to sweet talk Pete. See his ears pastor? That’s means he’s ready to attack and he doesn’t care that you are a man of God.

Then I came home to take the girl to the farm so she can ride.

Then I partied with Boone…

It’s a wonder I get anything done…

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